Worries

I'm worried about the price of gas. I'm worried about keeping my house clean. I'm worried about being able to afford Christmas presents for everyone on my list. I'm worried about my daughter and her apparent inability to learn to read....is she not trying? Is she really having trouble decoding or is she just not paying attention? A mother worries, as do most people, but having children magnifies that a hundredfold. You worry about your own ability to parent, your children's' health and their friends and their homework and their attitude and their sleep patterns....oh, the list goes on and on. It doesn't really even stop when they are older, nor should it, really. Of course they must grow up and go out on their own, but you never cease to be concerned for their well being. As a parent you should never emotionally detach yourself from your children, no matter how independent they may be. A child always needs to know that their parent is there for them, emotionally and otherwise, forever. Parenting isn't an 18 year assignment...it's a lifetime commitment, like any marriage or friendship would be. You don't get a reprieve for good behavior after your child graduates from high school. I wish more parents shared this philosophy. I know so many adults who have felt abandoned by their parents. They appreciate their parents need for their own life, yet feel as if they are no longer an important component in their parents' lives. How sad is that?

I know I will always worry about my kids, and I don't mind that. It is a price I am willing to pay to be their mother. I couldn't imagine a world without them in it. My life is better for having them in it, and I won't ever make them feel like I'm unavailable. I've seen what that sort of parenting does to a person. It demeans and lowers self esteem. It rips that child in you apart. That isn't the sort of trip I signed up for. I'm in it for the long haul, through Dr. Seuss, the teen years and beyond.

You're stuck with me kids! Get over it!

Changes...yet again

There are changes afoot, and as far as changes go, it's not earth shattering, yet I can't help but feel unsettled. New management leadership can lead to changes, and after 27 years I've certainly seen my share of reassignments and alterations. It's nothing new, yet it never ceases to distress us. This year I shall meet an even bigger challenge...the loss of a beloved co-worker. Sherry is leaving us, retiring, which is great for her and I'm honestly happy for her, yet I wonder how I will fill that hole she will leave behind. She is a unique friend, one who understands me, who speaks to my heart, one who knows me and likes me despite it all! I shall miss her, and have no idea how I will adjust to this major change in our work place dynamics.

I don't know what to think about rumors that are flying about. I hope I'm not being overly pessimistic. I can only hope for the best. Change has never been easy for me...and this time is really no different. After all this time, you would think I'd be better equipped to deal with it. I hope I am stronger. I hope that no matter what, the transition is a smooth one.

I can hope.

25 things about ME

A friend of mine was passing around this 25 Things about Me on Facebook, and I decided that rather than put it there...so that everyone could see it....I would post it here and the folks I want to see it will see it, and the general public will continue to NOT know 25 things about me...their loss I suppose!

Ok...here goes....

1. I don't have a belly button.

2. If no one sees me eat something, then I didn't eat it. I wipe it from my memory.

3. I adore being served attitude along with my morning coffee. It makes it taste better.

4. I have seen a ghost. Really.

5. I believe the thing I do best is being a mother.

6. If I could have, I would have had 20 kids, just like Mrs. Duggar.

7. I need to read.

8. I love getting up early to hear the first sounds of the day.

9. I can't be friends with anyone I can't respect.

10. My first kiss was amazing.

11. I don't like confrontation.

12. Insincerity makes me sad.

13. I love, love, love to write!

14. My first love was a dog. He was soooo cute.

15. My eyes are so bad I can't read the phone book anymore.

16. I believe I knew my gynocologist in a past life.

17. I was married to one of my best friends in a past life.

18. My favorite time of day is bedtime!

19. I hate math.

20. I have three friends who are like sisters to me. I am very blessed.

21. I was adopted...and I don't have any hard feelings for my birth mother, nor do I need to know who she is.

22. I believe I am often misunderstood.

23. I have anxiety attacks more often than I would like.

24. I live in the town I always dreamed of living in .

25. I am very, very blessed. I try to be conscious of that everyday.