Wallace Stevens wrote the most WONDERFUL poem, Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird....this is my favorite snipet from it:
I know noble accents
and lucid, inescapable rhythms;
But I know, too,
That the blackbird is involved
In what I know.
It is one of the most beautiful poems about Blackbirds that I've ever read. I am partial to the crow...have many of them (all friends!) come to eat at my front door every morning, and I have a great respect for them. Most people I've met, don't. Yes, they are big and black...oooo...and popular culture has shown them to be harbingers of evil, but that is so far from the truth of what these noble birds are all about.
Well, this blog isn't about much except that I wanted to share this snipet from my favorite poem. I'm tired today and not inclined to much thought. I just wanted to appreciate something I consider beautiful today.
I hope you find beauty in ALL creation...not just the cute, fluffy, chirpy birds!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Life After Life?
I continue to be amazed today, by perception and reality. What is real and what is not? Is our belief in something enough to make it real, at least for us? Is our belief in an afterlife just wishful thinking? Is our faith in something beyond this world enough to make it so?
I recall a movie, The Matrix, that really made me think about what is real and what isn't. Everything this man thought was real really wasn't. He was in a pod, in a suspended animation sort of state, and he had wires and all sorts of gadgets hooked up to him and his "reality" was really being transmitted to his brain through these machines. What he thought was real was just an elaborate scheme, a dream. His life was created by a being who, for a reason I can't recall, wanted him in this suspended state and wanted him to believe his life was actually real. Everything he held dear, everyone he loved....just a dream. Once the wires were disconnected, it was over. Is that how it will be for us? Will our "wire" be disconnected and it will all just disappear? Will we wake up on the "other side" disoriented and wondering where we are? Will there be something there for us once our current reality is over? Will it be anything like anyone has ever imagined? That much...I have to doubt. I don't think we can conceptualize that sort of thing, as humans. Our human condition limits our ability to think in that way. We see the "other side" as an extension of this one, but really, it is probably something we could never conceive of, not even under the influence of the most mind altering drugs.
As a child I used to have a fanciful thought....that we are all just dreaming. That this world was a shared, collective dream and as each of us awaken, we would sit up and see our sleeping friends around us and just enjoy the view and wait for each of them to wake up. I have never really subscribed to the traditional view of Heaven and the after life, and my thoughts of a collective dream was my youthful attempt to understand just what might be out there.
I firmly believe in the energy in each of us, and that our soul is endless and boundless, however, I don't think we will even remotely resemble what we are today, here and now on earth. I don't pretend to know what it will be like, unlike some other folks who insist they have the road map to the afterlife.
I think I have raised more questions than answers here, and that's rather what I expected. I don't have any answers, just really annoying, thought provoking questions! Do I feel that belief in something makes it so? In many ways, yes, I do. I know that my belief in something can't make it so for EVERYONE, but certainly for ME. Is that enough to make it so? Is my desire enough fuel to start a fire? Again....more questions...
I just know there is something, and that we are all a part of it, connected to each other...eternally.
I recall a movie, The Matrix, that really made me think about what is real and what isn't. Everything this man thought was real really wasn't. He was in a pod, in a suspended animation sort of state, and he had wires and all sorts of gadgets hooked up to him and his "reality" was really being transmitted to his brain through these machines. What he thought was real was just an elaborate scheme, a dream. His life was created by a being who, for a reason I can't recall, wanted him in this suspended state and wanted him to believe his life was actually real. Everything he held dear, everyone he loved....just a dream. Once the wires were disconnected, it was over. Is that how it will be for us? Will our "wire" be disconnected and it will all just disappear? Will we wake up on the "other side" disoriented and wondering where we are? Will there be something there for us once our current reality is over? Will it be anything like anyone has ever imagined? That much...I have to doubt. I don't think we can conceptualize that sort of thing, as humans. Our human condition limits our ability to think in that way. We see the "other side" as an extension of this one, but really, it is probably something we could never conceive of, not even under the influence of the most mind altering drugs.
As a child I used to have a fanciful thought....that we are all just dreaming. That this world was a shared, collective dream and as each of us awaken, we would sit up and see our sleeping friends around us and just enjoy the view and wait for each of them to wake up. I have never really subscribed to the traditional view of Heaven and the after life, and my thoughts of a collective dream was my youthful attempt to understand just what might be out there.
I firmly believe in the energy in each of us, and that our soul is endless and boundless, however, I don't think we will even remotely resemble what we are today, here and now on earth. I don't pretend to know what it will be like, unlike some other folks who insist they have the road map to the afterlife.
I think I have raised more questions than answers here, and that's rather what I expected. I don't have any answers, just really annoying, thought provoking questions! Do I feel that belief in something makes it so? In many ways, yes, I do. I know that my belief in something can't make it so for EVERYONE, but certainly for ME. Is that enough to make it so? Is my desire enough fuel to start a fire? Again....more questions...
I just know there is something, and that we are all a part of it, connected to each other...eternally.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Value
Did you ever find yourself looking around you and wondering about the value of human life and why we have found it necessary as humans to put ourselves above all other creatures? Why it is that we feel that we are the only creature with a soul is beyond me. Despite all of my growing up years in Parochial school, I can not come to terms with many of their teachings. I know, beyond a doubt, that we are not above anything, and that every living creature is of value and has a unique soul all their own. (yes, EVEN BATS!)
Yes, we have the capacity to reason and are relatively smart, however, that does not put us up any higher on the pyramid of life, in my opinion. We have convinced ourselves that we are masters of this ship, but really, we are just passengers and the Creator is definitely Captain of our vessel. He has created such an elaborate and complex world, and no creature can be considered any more crucial than the next. Each of us has a job to do, and we really do it so well for the most part. This whole issue of feeling superior to other species is really ridiculous, and I wish we could acknowledge it as such. Yes, I suppose in the bible it states that we hold dominion over the creatures of the earth, but it also says some gibberish about woman being made from man's rib and how we should be subservient and obedient to males and all that. Really? What were they thinking?
There is much value in this world, and that includes not only our species, but all others as well. We could learn so much from each other, but I find that humans don't always think we need to learn a darn thing. As humans we have great potential to evolve into a higher form altogether, but we get stuck somehow. Maybe we're stuck in the whole "I'm better than you and I don't need to improve because I am already on top" sort of mentality. I'm not really sure why, but we have it in us to rise above, to learn the lessons that are all around us and to become something higher and better. That is my personal goal, and wish I knew of other people who felt the same.
Sometimes humanity just makes me sad. It seems we've lost our purpose and vision and I hope that as a whole, we are able to regain our awareness of what's really important and what our journey is really all about.
Yes, we have the capacity to reason and are relatively smart, however, that does not put us up any higher on the pyramid of life, in my opinion. We have convinced ourselves that we are masters of this ship, but really, we are just passengers and the Creator is definitely Captain of our vessel. He has created such an elaborate and complex world, and no creature can be considered any more crucial than the next. Each of us has a job to do, and we really do it so well for the most part. This whole issue of feeling superior to other species is really ridiculous, and I wish we could acknowledge it as such. Yes, I suppose in the bible it states that we hold dominion over the creatures of the earth, but it also says some gibberish about woman being made from man's rib and how we should be subservient and obedient to males and all that. Really? What were they thinking?
There is much value in this world, and that includes not only our species, but all others as well. We could learn so much from each other, but I find that humans don't always think we need to learn a darn thing. As humans we have great potential to evolve into a higher form altogether, but we get stuck somehow. Maybe we're stuck in the whole "I'm better than you and I don't need to improve because I am already on top" sort of mentality. I'm not really sure why, but we have it in us to rise above, to learn the lessons that are all around us and to become something higher and better. That is my personal goal, and wish I knew of other people who felt the same.
Sometimes humanity just makes me sad. It seems we've lost our purpose and vision and I hope that as a whole, we are able to regain our awareness of what's really important and what our journey is really all about.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Cyber-Virgin
As I may have mentioned in previous blogs, I am very new to this blogging world. I pondered how much to share with others, what topics were off limits in my mind, etc. etc.
Well...yesterday was the first time I had the opportunity to browse through other blogs here on Google and I actually ran into one that I found interesting, so I began to read. What happened isn't what I expected. I was almost embarrassed to be reading this girls thoughts which were so personal in nature. I felt like I had broken into her room and stole a peak at her diary! I wanted to comment on one of her postings, as I could so easily relate to what she was saying, but every time I tried to phrase my words, I felt they came out with too much guilt and embarrassment and I sounded like I actually felt bad and that I was apologizing for reading the thoughts she put out there for the world to see. I wondered if she thought of the fact that ANYONE can read her blogs...I wondered how she would feel receiving a comment from a complete stranger who read her thoughts on her personal pain during the holiday season. I felt like a thief, stealing a look into her soul, and I couldn't make my comment sound like anything other than an apology, so I never left one. I wondered to myself...how many people feel just like I do? Will the feeling wear off eventually? Will I ever get used to this cyber world that brings so many strangers closer than we ever thought we could be? I just don't know.
Will I ever feel comfortable leaving a comment on someones blog? I think that the commenting and sharing of feelings and thoughts was the whole point of blogging, but again, I'm not sure why it made me feel like a thief in the night. I would like to think I wouldn't have made that girl mad by telling her that I felt the same way she did. I would like to think that blogging is a way to reach out to others, to share how you feel and be reassured by others that you aren't alone. I would like to think it's not just a rant...a place to yell and scream and not be heard. If I really believe that, then I imagine that my initial fear of responding to someone else is just temporary.
Just a cyber-virgin freaking out her first time out in deep water...
Well...yesterday was the first time I had the opportunity to browse through other blogs here on Google and I actually ran into one that I found interesting, so I began to read. What happened isn't what I expected. I was almost embarrassed to be reading this girls thoughts which were so personal in nature. I felt like I had broken into her room and stole a peak at her diary! I wanted to comment on one of her postings, as I could so easily relate to what she was saying, but every time I tried to phrase my words, I felt they came out with too much guilt and embarrassment and I sounded like I actually felt bad and that I was apologizing for reading the thoughts she put out there for the world to see. I wondered if she thought of the fact that ANYONE can read her blogs...I wondered how she would feel receiving a comment from a complete stranger who read her thoughts on her personal pain during the holiday season. I felt like a thief, stealing a look into her soul, and I couldn't make my comment sound like anything other than an apology, so I never left one. I wondered to myself...how many people feel just like I do? Will the feeling wear off eventually? Will I ever get used to this cyber world that brings so many strangers closer than we ever thought we could be? I just don't know.
Will I ever feel comfortable leaving a comment on someones blog? I think that the commenting and sharing of feelings and thoughts was the whole point of blogging, but again, I'm not sure why it made me feel like a thief in the night. I would like to think I wouldn't have made that girl mad by telling her that I felt the same way she did. I would like to think that blogging is a way to reach out to others, to share how you feel and be reassured by others that you aren't alone. I would like to think it's not just a rant...a place to yell and scream and not be heard. If I really believe that, then I imagine that my initial fear of responding to someone else is just temporary.
Just a cyber-virgin freaking out her first time out in deep water...
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Vent
So, what part of "personal space" is difficult for people to understand? Is it the word PERSONAL? Is it the word SPACE? Both seem simple enough to me, and combined, shouldn't really confound anyone, even the dim witted among us. However, it seems that people just DON'T GET IT.
You know what else people don't get??? You aren't supposed to leave your religion in the last pew at church. You are supposed to carry it with you always...especially those who proclaim the loudest to be ultra-religious and pious and all that. They beat their breasts in sorrow during Easter, they weep tears of joy at Christmas, they have rosary beads hanging in their cars or in their homes that never get used...but they can't remember the Ten Commandments on a daily basis. They remember to collect their Christmas presents, but forget what their religion demands of them.
Jealousy is a sin. I'm not saying I've never experienced that emotion. I'm not claiming to be perfect. As a matter of fact, I proclaim here and now that I am far from perfect, but hey...can't anyone else admit that, too? Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors goods? Remember that one? That's all about JEALOUSY. Notice that in the word JEALOUSY is the word LOUSY? Well, it's there for a reason. Stop worrying about what everyone else has. Stop looking for something to be angry about. Stop trying to rationalize your bad behavior by visualizing yourself as a victim. You are no victim. You are a sad excuse for a human being. Grow up. Take responsibility. Leave me the hell alone.
Ok...my vent is over. I feel better now.
You know what else people don't get??? You aren't supposed to leave your religion in the last pew at church. You are supposed to carry it with you always...especially those who proclaim the loudest to be ultra-religious and pious and all that. They beat their breasts in sorrow during Easter, they weep tears of joy at Christmas, they have rosary beads hanging in their cars or in their homes that never get used...but they can't remember the Ten Commandments on a daily basis. They remember to collect their Christmas presents, but forget what their religion demands of them.
Jealousy is a sin. I'm not saying I've never experienced that emotion. I'm not claiming to be perfect. As a matter of fact, I proclaim here and now that I am far from perfect, but hey...can't anyone else admit that, too? Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors goods? Remember that one? That's all about JEALOUSY. Notice that in the word JEALOUSY is the word LOUSY? Well, it's there for a reason. Stop worrying about what everyone else has. Stop looking for something to be angry about. Stop trying to rationalize your bad behavior by visualizing yourself as a victim. You are no victim. You are a sad excuse for a human being. Grow up. Take responsibility. Leave me the hell alone.
Ok...my vent is over. I feel better now.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Adjustment Time!
Ok, so we're all moved in. Cubbies are set up and empty boxes and boxes AND boxes thrown away. It almost doesn't feel real, sitting in this sterile environment with new chairs, freshly painted walls and fancy new carpet. If it weren't for all the familiar faces around me, I would think I were sitting in someone else's office in some else's chair. Don't get me wrong, I know the newness will wear off and it will become the same old same old real quick. I'm not complaining really. Just making an observation. It just doesn't seem real yet. I pulled in the driveway this morning and realized I don't have a favorite spot yet! Coming from a place I spent 8 hours a day for 25 years to this is a bit disconcerting, but not bad, not really, just different and discombobulating! Eventually I'm sure I'll get my sea legs and this will all be old hat.
For now, it's adjustment time!
For now, it's adjustment time!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Moving Day
Well, it's moving day...finally!
I remember the first time I heard the notion of the possibility of the office moving to a new location and quite frankly, at the time, I thought it would never come about. But here we are...blue moving vans outside, boxes packed and anxieties high. It's moments of great change like this that get me thinking. We're moving...but should we really be taking EVERYTHING with us?
We've cleaned out cabinets, closets and files. We've shredded confidential information, thrown out agendas of meetings that happened 15 years ago. We've done all of the expected house cleaning that comes along with a move such as this. But have we really taken stock and cleaned the way we should?
We all have memories here, good and bad. We all have feelings about leaving and about those we are taking along for the ride. We have dear friends, acquaintances and enemies among the mix. Rivalries seem to thrive in this sort of environment, and they don't seem to stop. Anger and animosity is just something we have come to live with, along with all the good stuff too. Don't get me wrong, there's lots of good stuff here. I've met some of my best friends here and we've shared many good and bad times in these hallways. I won't stop focusing on the good stuff now. But truth be told, I've also learned more here than at any other time and place in my life about the reality of evil...and unfortunately, the negative forces aren't staying behind with the old desks and chairs.
Should we use this opportunity to start over, to begin again...to forgive? Yes. It is what I plan on trying to do. This is a fresh start and I refuse to let it slip by me without my trying to take a positive spin on things. Can I get other people to do the same? No. I can't make anyone do anything. I wish I could, but all the wishes in the world won't change a thing. I can only take care of my little part of the world. The rest must answer for themselves.
We can bring our memories with us of special times and friends. Those people and moments only live because we remember them. We carry them with us always. They do not live within these walls. Ghosts haunt people, not places. I'm taking Neal, Angie, Sandy, Bill, Paul, and Elaine with me, because they were my friends and they live in me. Their spirits do not dwell in this old place. They don't live in the old log books or faded memos with their signatures reminding me of their existence. They are with me always, and it doesn't matter where I put my stapler and paper clip holder.
Those of us remaining have a job to do....and I am not only referring to the paperwork. I'm talking about the job of living well, of doing unto others, of doing the Creator's work in this world. We need to remember our purpose and goals, and not let anger and stress take us from that goal. Let us use this opportunity to move closer to where we need to be in our lives. I pray for all my old friends this day, but also pray for everyone that is coming with me on this grand new adventure. I pray that we will be able to see, with 20/20 vision, our own failings and rise above them and come closer to the path that we were all chosen for.
We can either pack up our old garbage and bring it with us, or we can forge ahead and leave the past behind. The future is completely up to us, and if we falter, we will have no one to blame but ourselves.
Bon Voyage!
I remember the first time I heard the notion of the possibility of the office moving to a new location and quite frankly, at the time, I thought it would never come about. But here we are...blue moving vans outside, boxes packed and anxieties high. It's moments of great change like this that get me thinking. We're moving...but should we really be taking EVERYTHING with us?
We've cleaned out cabinets, closets and files. We've shredded confidential information, thrown out agendas of meetings that happened 15 years ago. We've done all of the expected house cleaning that comes along with a move such as this. But have we really taken stock and cleaned the way we should?
We all have memories here, good and bad. We all have feelings about leaving and about those we are taking along for the ride. We have dear friends, acquaintances and enemies among the mix. Rivalries seem to thrive in this sort of environment, and they don't seem to stop. Anger and animosity is just something we have come to live with, along with all the good stuff too. Don't get me wrong, there's lots of good stuff here. I've met some of my best friends here and we've shared many good and bad times in these hallways. I won't stop focusing on the good stuff now. But truth be told, I've also learned more here than at any other time and place in my life about the reality of evil...and unfortunately, the negative forces aren't staying behind with the old desks and chairs.
Should we use this opportunity to start over, to begin again...to forgive? Yes. It is what I plan on trying to do. This is a fresh start and I refuse to let it slip by me without my trying to take a positive spin on things. Can I get other people to do the same? No. I can't make anyone do anything. I wish I could, but all the wishes in the world won't change a thing. I can only take care of my little part of the world. The rest must answer for themselves.
We can bring our memories with us of special times and friends. Those people and moments only live because we remember them. We carry them with us always. They do not live within these walls. Ghosts haunt people, not places. I'm taking Neal, Angie, Sandy, Bill, Paul, and Elaine with me, because they were my friends and they live in me. Their spirits do not dwell in this old place. They don't live in the old log books or faded memos with their signatures reminding me of their existence. They are with me always, and it doesn't matter where I put my stapler and paper clip holder.
Those of us remaining have a job to do....and I am not only referring to the paperwork. I'm talking about the job of living well, of doing unto others, of doing the Creator's work in this world. We need to remember our purpose and goals, and not let anger and stress take us from that goal. Let us use this opportunity to move closer to where we need to be in our lives. I pray for all my old friends this day, but also pray for everyone that is coming with me on this grand new adventure. I pray that we will be able to see, with 20/20 vision, our own failings and rise above them and come closer to the path that we were all chosen for.
We can either pack up our old garbage and bring it with us, or we can forge ahead and leave the past behind. The future is completely up to us, and if we falter, we will have no one to blame but ourselves.
Bon Voyage!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
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