Cyber-Virgin

As I may have mentioned in previous blogs, I am very new to this blogging world. I pondered how much to share with others, what topics were off limits in my mind, etc. etc.

Well...yesterday was the first time I had the opportunity to browse through other blogs here on Google and I actually ran into one that I found interesting, so I began to read. What happened isn't what I expected. I was almost embarrassed to be reading this girls thoughts which were so personal in nature. I felt like I had broken into her room and stole a peak at her diary! I wanted to comment on one of her postings, as I could so easily relate to what she was saying, but every time I tried to phrase my words, I felt they came out with too much guilt and embarrassment and I sounded like I actually felt bad and that I was apologizing for reading the thoughts she put out there for the world to see. I wondered if she thought of the fact that ANYONE can read her blogs...I wondered how she would feel receiving a comment from a complete stranger who read her thoughts on her personal pain during the holiday season. I felt like a thief, stealing a look into her soul, and I couldn't make my comment sound like anything other than an apology, so I never left one. I wondered to myself...how many people feel just like I do? Will the feeling wear off eventually? Will I ever get used to this cyber world that brings so many strangers closer than we ever thought we could be? I just don't know.

Will I ever feel comfortable leaving a comment on someones blog? I think that the commenting and sharing of feelings and thoughts was the whole point of blogging, but again, I'm not sure why it made me feel like a thief in the night. I would like to think I wouldn't have made that girl mad by telling her that I felt the same way she did. I would like to think that blogging is a way to reach out to others, to share how you feel and be reassured by others that you aren't alone. I would like to think it's not just a rant...a place to yell and scream and not be heard. If I really believe that, then I imagine that my initial fear of responding to someone else is just temporary.

Just a cyber-virgin freaking out her first time out in deep water...