The Dance

What I want you do to is to picture the MOST ANNOYING thing your mother ever did to you, or still does to you. Think of how it makes you feel. Think of how ANGRY you are when you think about it. She complains that she hates your clothes, your hairstyle, your friends. She hovers over you like a helicopter in heat...she hugs you in public! She has a key to you house and she rearranges your kitchen drawers so that when you go to find your serving spoons, they aren't where they are supposed to be! She goes through your underwear drawers and asks you why you have thong underwear! She goes through your underwear drawers and asks why you DON'T have any underwear! Well, the list could go on...

So, picture this annoying thing.

Then picture your mother sick, and your mother...gone. Picture her old and feeble. Picture her in a nursing home. Picture her sitting alone, remembering you as a child, feeling lonely for the past. Picture yourself sick, and alone, because your mother is gone and isn't there to wipe your brow...to make you toast and tea with too much sugar in it. You complained about that tea, I know you did! But, what you wouldn't do for another cup of that horrid stuff...what you wouldn't do for her to wipe your sweaty forehead and kiss you just one more time...

Remember this when your mother, or really, ANYONE you love annoys you. You will crave that very thing they do to annoy you, once they are gone. It will be the thing you remember with nostalgia and sometimes with regret. You will wish you had handled it differently, but don't be too hard on yourself. We are all just human. You only responded to your own feelings as you had them at the time. I mean, who likes a helicopter in heat hovering over them all the time? It makes you feel as if you aren't being trusted or viewed as an adult. Anyone with any brains would respond negatively to that sort of thing, however, just remember that the intention wasn't to harm you, or make you feel badly. Sometimes Mom's just don't understand that there is a line, and you shouldn't cross it. They love you, as that's what they do. They don't understand that by hovering, they are hurting at the same time.

Be forgiving, of BOTH of you.....forgive them for driving you nuts, and forgive yourself for not being able to tolerate it.

It's all part of the dance of life....sometimes our partners step on our toes, sometimes we step on theirs. No perfection here. Just lots of dancing!