Perspective

I made a long overdue phone call to a friend who is recuperating from extensive back surgery today, and I must say that I feel like crying. I am writing this now to try to get it out of me in a productive way.

She's young, she has two beautiful daughters and a loving husband. She's well educated and liked by everyone who knows her. She has had a few setbacks in her life, as we all have, but this is taking its toll on her. She had a tumor growing on her spine, thankfully benign, however, the surgery was so extensive, the recuperation time is considerable. She's an active woman, as most moms are, and I think that the sitting around all day is just as difficult for her to handle as is the physical pain. I feel for her, as I sit here now, surrounded by co-workers and telephones ringing and work to do. I have purpose here, although I sometimes get angry when I'm here because I'd rather be anywhere else. She's lost her purpose, really. She has always been a dedicated employee, working well beyond what was expected of her and now she sits, and waits and prays. She's scared, and who can blame her. She's probably angry too, and I also can't blame her for feeling that way. That's really why I called her....to break up her day, to give her someone to talk to if she needed to. But now I feel her around me, I feel her pain and isolation. I feel her fear, and I'm distracted by it.

I wish there were something I could do to alleviate her pain, but obviously, I'm not capable of doing that. I wish I could give her hope. I wish I could help her see the end of this difficult journey. I wish she were making plans to cook a Thanksgiving dinner.

I'm putting this in perspective here....I am apprehensive about cooking a dinner for my family, but truthfully, I think it's great that I have the opportunity to be doing that. It's a privilege really, and I know that. All she wants is to play with her daughter, and she can't walk around without assistance. I do my best not to moan about my aches and pains, and thinking of this woman, I try even harder, as she knows REAL pain. We all have our turn suffering. We all have our cross to carry, but right now, her cross is heavier than mine and my heart goes out to her. When I think to myself that I wish there were something I can do, well, I think there is. I can call her and remind her we're thinking of her. I can pray for her, that she finds peace. There is something I can do. There usually is.

When I pray tonight I will add a prayer for my friend that she finds hope and holds on to it.

Hope is all we have, really.