Carpe Diem

Today is a snow day....my favorite sort of day...when I get chance to spend time with my daughter, get caught up on chores around the house...it's just a super experience that makes working for a school district really worth it!

I got up and started my day as any other, thinking I had to be somewhere. Well, after a few alert calls from friends and the school my daughter attends, we found out we had no where to go today. It was an exciting morning! Mia was still sleeping, so I thought I would have a little time to see a grown up movie. I put on Dead Poets Society. It's one of my favorites and I was excited. Well, she woke up after the first 10 minutes and I left it on for a bit. When it came to the part when Robin Williams tells his students to Seize the Day...Carpe Diem...well...first off she was shocked I KNEW what it meant...and also she said something else that was interesting. I told her I had some vinyl appliques to hang in the house yet, and one of them was the phrase, Carpe Diem. I told her I couldn't find it, and that I hoped I would find it soon. She put her hand over my heart and told me to hold it there and then I wouldn't need to hang the words on the wall. Wow. That just about knocked me over. She's an intriguing child, to say the least! It's like...she's old or something! I have been blessed with a wise child.

Well, that whole conversation and the movie got me thinking. Am I doing enough to seize everyday? Do I Carpe Diem? Is there more I could do to make my life more fulfilling? Should I be seizing more? I like to think that as much as I'm able to, I take as much advantage of everyday as I can, but how can I be seizing anything from behind my desk in my miserable cubby? How can that be seen as fulfilling? How can I live up to my potential sitting there?

I have been at my job for 26 years, and out of those years I've spent a few chunks of time regretting my decision to stay there...wishing for more. Then, practically speaking, I think how could I have survived without the job? It kept food on the table...a roof over our heads...my son in private school. Where would we have been without it? If I had been frivolous about it, and abandoned a job that didn't fulfill me...my son would have been living out of a cardboard box! In that regard, I know I did what I had to do...but now...my situation has changed and I'm closer to retirement than I've ever been before...do I stick it out? Do I leave now and seize the moment and do something daring and impetuous? What is my destiny? Am I on the right path?

So many questions...even at my age, we have so many questions and doubts. Amazing. I know that I have obligations. We all have obligations and we must do what we have to to meet them, but where is the magic? Where does it go? Is is where my daughter said...in our hearts? Do we carry that passion for life in our hearts, and go about that everyday mundane routine, yet burn inside? I think that may be it. I think if we carry it with us, then it makes it easier to do those things we must do.

I know tomorrow morning I will get up and there won't be a snowday to keep me home. I will have to go to that cubby I despise and make the best of it. I know I must. But I can Carpe Diem all the same. I don't have to be living a glamorous life to seize every moment and live it the best I can. I can be calm and carry on. I can Carpe Diem, plan for my future and hope for the best.

What else can a girl do? So just do what I do...do what you must, yet carry that passion in your heart and don't let the fire go out. Maybe just wanting more, feeling the desire for more, will eventually bring more to you.

Carpe Diem, however or whenever you can!