What can I do?

What can I do? I am trying so hard to feel positive, to look at the bright side, to do all the things we've done together...to keep trying, to reach deep within myself for strength...but I find I'm not successful at it this week. This week is the week we always talked about...in our room...our office...just you and me. We wondered what we would do when retirement came...and you always said it would come for you first and I dismissed you, even though I knew you were telling the obvious truth. We weren't born in the same decade...so it was inevitable that for you, the elder of us, retirement would come first.

I know I've said I don't mind that we weren't born in the same time period...that there were some years between us always seemed ok to me...and I think it was meant to be that way, no matter what our preference...but for the record....I wish it too. I wish we could have gone to high school together....talked about things that young girls talk about....had each other to support and laugh and cry with. It would have been fun....but all in all, I can't say that we don't have something special nonetheless....because you know we do.

Let's set the record straight. These are the things you taught me:

1. To look on the bright side.
2. That friends...true friends...mean what they say and stand by you even when you act like a ninny.
3. That no matter how old you are, you can learn something new everyday.
4. That a mother can be your best friend.
5. That I am an artist.
6. That I am a writer.
7. That I have gifts that can enrich the world.
8. It's all in the details!
9. That smiling even when you don't feel like it is important.
10. That everyday is a gift.

I said it before, and I'll say it again, I did lots of growing up at this job....27 years of it...and 17 of it spent in your company. Your heart is true and genuine and I have been blessed to have worked with you. The job is important, no doubt, but what really matters are the bonds we forge here...the people who's lives we touch in positive ways. That's why we are here, and your friendship has taught me that.

I've had a hard time with this, and I've tried not to grieve in your company! This is a wonderful thing for you....retirement is a positive thing, and our friendship won't end because of it. I will just miss your calming presence....and your smile. Forgive me if I seem out of sorts lately. I'm trying to get my bearings.

I shall never say goodbye to you, my dear friend....I will, however, say what I have said for many years, every weekday at 4:15....Aurevoir, ma Sherry.....

I love you.